“The key to self control is not will power, but joy power. It is not about crushing your current desires but it is about finding your ultimate desire… When you find the highest desire of your heart, everything else that is a lesser desire, that would compromise or challenge your ability to get fully to that desire, is easy to say no to. It’s not hard to say yes to waking up in the morning when you know the prize at the end… Because the heart gets what the heart wants. What it ultimately wants it will have. When you define your ultimate desire, when you set your heart on a higher desire, the lesser stuff: no big deal. Something will always be demanding the heart’s submission.”
This past Sunday I decided to get up and go to Grace City Community Church, to try something new in hopes of finding refreshment. What I received, I was not ready to hear... but I knew that is why God had me there. By the end of the service, I was almost in tears. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to not let myself cry. God spoke straight to me and my heart, into my inner most being...
In my life... I run around in these circles. I keep myself busy, give to others, stay up late and wake up early... always. avoiding. myself. I hate reflecting on myself...mostly because I am not too much of a fan of, well...me. When all of my sins, short comings, and failures, catch up with me... I tend to go deep into myself and sulk. Not necessarily throwing a pity party, but just feeling extremely low and staying there. I feel like I make all the wrongs decisions, fail to get places on time, don't go the extra mile enough in regards to others. I compromise with the world and my temptations all the time. God is hardly at the top for me. God falls off my radar constantly. Sometimes on purpose to fulfill my own worldly desires.
I loathe self reflecting. It's really difficult for me to do because there are more things that I don't like about myself than what I do like.
I want God to be my ultimate desire. I want my heart to have Him be my highest desire. I am tired of becoming disappointed by people and worldly things, the lesser things that I no longer want. It is time for me to take a full glass of humility and look upon myself not with harsh judgement but with God's reality.
If you can find the time, I highly suggest you listen to the sermon from this past Sunday. Pastor Seth talks about the heart's ultimate desire, the story of Jacob and Rachel, and of how we are God's "Rachel":
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