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"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good." {Romans 8:26-28, The Message}

Okay folks, honesty time. If there is anything that I have been lately, it has been burnt. out. I have felt like my fire has been snuffed out and that there is nothing left that is inspirational or relevant to anything inside of me. If you follow my blog and have noticed that I took a hiatus from it, now you know why. Trust me, I wanted to do a witty "Awkward and Awesome" Thursday and a "Monday Questionnaire", and I actually started two other blog posts but never finished them. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Nothing was burning inside of me. I started them but couldn't even get a whole paragraph together. I have been: Unmotivated. Exhausted. Impatient. Fed up. Frustrated. Depressed. Unsatisfied. The list goes on. I have been allowing Satan to fester in my thoughts, that is very apparent...so now I am confessing that to you all {but most importantly to God}. No more, no more, no more. 

Yesterday, at my college church group, my pastor, Tom, talked about sin. It was kind of confusing at first, he was talking about how we have inherited sin and willful sin. What really hit me hard though was the verse above, but it was in the NLT version at the time. I thought that The Message version spoke more clearly as to how much God is all knowing and all loving. It stopped me right in my tracks and made me tear up a bit. I fought my tears though because I didn't want to start crying {even though crying in church is perfectly fine}. It made me realize, why am I fighting God and His love for me?? Why do I keep walking around thinking that no one understands my heart or my desires when He knows them better than I ever could! Tom talked about how God is our Father, Abba {which means Father}, and how when we feel like we can't go anywhere else, that He wants us to curl up on His lap and let Him hold us. I have always known this and have heard it all before but that night... in that moment... it hit me like a warm breeze on a frigid day. God knew I needed to be reassured by Him that He is truly all I will ever need. That He knows me because He created me in every sense. I. am. Abba's. No one can take that away from me, ever. In that moment, my heart flooded with His love. I felt warm and I just wanted to weep from gratefulness.


If you are feeling hopeless, worthless, misunderstood, burdened, or just need some comfort, consider crawling up on Abba's lap today, in His loving arms...and rest fully in Him.


{photo credit: Neil Abrew, model: Me}