Yahweh.

It is raining so much.... I don't know what I think of it. I like it when I am inside or plan on getting wet outside... but when I'm walking to class (I can't bike because I'll get splattered with mud and water) I STILL get my pants sopping wet... -_- not my cup of tea... speaking of tea... that sounds good right now.... mint tea or chamomile?

It's the beginning of the term... without Jon as my boyfriend now it's hard to fathom how I am going to make it through this term (or who knows, maybe even my whole life) without him by my side. We are still friends and talk every now and then. It wasn't a bad break up and their wasn't a huge deal breaker. It's just that something was "off" and we were stagnant and not changing our lives to focus more on God and the relationship He yearns for us to have. Jon's doing really well with all of that, he is progressing a lot in his relationship with God...

I miss him a lot. He is so sweet. I am so proud of him. Incredibly. I hope he allows God to keep on making him grow into the man he was created to be. I love the man I am getting glimpses of. However, I need to love God first. I need to give everything I love up in order to follow Christ. That is what He calls us to do.

I love my PHL 220 class so far (World Views and Values in the Bible). This guy named David Scott teaches it and he seems like he knows his stuff. I was really nervous because I thought this would really be an anti-Christ/God class, but it's the opposite!!! :) The professor spoke one of God's most sacred names in class today.... Yahweh... oh my goodness... I got goosebumps. Everytime I hear that name... Oh my Lord, Yahweh... Beautiful is Your Name!!!!! :)

I am finally getting there. I think I just needed two weeks to just sit and learn how to grieve in this strange absurd way. And I have learned that I am selfish and God will not have anything to do with my selfishness. Now that I have recognized this, it is time to act!!! :)

I heard about this Leeland/Phil Wickham concert on the 26th of April in Tualatin. I SO WANNA GOOOO!!!! :) #1 I love Phil and ALL his songs. #2 Leeland's new CD "The Door", is awesome and I would love to see them in concert. Mikaykay and Tracy and I are hopefully going to go together. I miss them so much :) I saw Mikaela at church on Sunday :) Love love love her! :) :) I miss her and Bergalicious like no other :) I think I am going to try to go up soon.

I have realized this. My soul had to die Winter term (just like nature does) and I had to go through those trials. Now Spring emerges and it starts off with Jesus dying for my sins!! What a blessing! Spring signifies being BORN AGAIN!!! My soul is light and my burdens are lifted. I will be starting new this term. Fresh.

My motto this term is lyrics from Leeland's song "The Door" and it holds truth:

"We're walking together, holding hands, oh it's just You and me, Jesus" !!!!

I will say that to myself every morning if I have to! Every day new and fresh with God! That's what He calls us to do, focus on today and the challenges and blessings God brings forth and take every step with Jesus in your heart, mind, and soul. He is my strength.